Kim and I were sitting in bed last night laughing at Burt Reynolds strutting across the television screen like an over-waxed Trans-Am when she thought there was someone banging against the side of our house. I explained that large vehicles passing or idling in the alley way can make the walls rattle. Kim didn't buy my explanation and focused her super sensitive hearing while I gazed at Burt.
A loud thud sent me scrambling for clothes and my brand new Mag Light, but by the time I got outside thieves had made off with my bike (which is worth perhaps 25$). The violation of property and peace caused my blood to boil. I ran down the alley and around the block, shirtless, wielding Maggie, hoping to find something to smash with her...I scared some guy squinting in the streetlight trying to fix his windshield wipers. "I haven't seen anyone!" he said with his hands up. The streets and alleys were deathly silent. I hulked around aimlessly until I felt ridiculous and half frozen.
The bastards were gone.
